Sin of Omission
by happycabbage75
Summary: An accident aboard the Jolly Roger has dire consequences for Killian, and Emma is at a loss to fix it. Set between 6x02 and 6x03.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just borrowing.

 _This is set between 6x02 and 6x03, so Emma's magic is still working, but it's starting to become unreliable._

Chapter One

* * *

"Mom?"

Emma gripped the phone more tightly and felt her heart begin to race. Henry, who had lived through more than most sixty year olds, sounded young, so young and scared.

"Mom, he's hurt. The Dwarfs were messing around and… and the rigging came loose and… he was trying to stop it and Leroy got in the way and he hit his head and he's bleeding and-"

"Breathe, kid," she ordered, trying to stay calm herself.

Killian had taken a group for a pleasure cruise on a nice sunny day. Since coming back from the Underworld he'd spent more time than usual on the Jolly Roger. His ship and the sea were home and peace and contentment to him and she was in favor of anything that helped to soothe him after what he had suffered.

The addition of the new arrivals from the Land of Untold Stories had added to the town's stress, followed by the mess with the Count and the reappearance of the not-quite-dead Evil Queen. An afternoon on the water had been just the ticket for a few hours of relaxation. The only reason Emma had stayed behind was another session with Archie.

"Who's hurt? Is it Killian?" She knew it was. Her son wouldn't be this panicked otherwise. They were all a little oversensitive where he was concerned and she'd been given more than one lecture that it wasn't good to wrap dastardly pirates in cotton wool. She'd happily introduced him to the concept of bubble wrap and told him that he'd _died_ and he was going to have to suck it up. Even a paper cut was too much at this point. She'd opted for a magical haircut to tame his mane, because the thought of scissors near anything vital had been too much.

"He's bleeding and… I can't even see him since I'm steering the ship and when he fell he… Mom, he… he won't wake up." She heard him hold the phone away and shout. "Grumpy, stop yelling! I'm talking to my mom! No, the other one!"

Emma was torn between pride that her son was capable of sailing a ship like the Jolly Roger and horror at this new bit of information. Killian had fallen in addition to hitting his head. She didn't know whether hitting his head had resulted in the fall, or the fall had resulted in hitting his head. Neither was good.

"Henry," she said, purposely using his name to get his attention. "It'll be ok. I can heal him. He'll be fine in no time."

"Ok," he said, and she heard him take a deliberate calming breath. It was an awful thought that this kind of thing happened often enough that her kid had experience with calming techniques despite being so young.

"How far out are you?" she asked. "I can use my magic to come to the ship, then take him to the hospital." She needed to see Killian. There was no way she was waiting for an ambulance to take him.

"We're coming in now. We were lowering the sails when it happened." He once again held the phone away. "Leroy! You guys need to get the mooring ropes ready."

Emma didn't wait any longer. She gathered her magic around her. One second she was sitting at the sheriff's station, the next she was standing outside watching the Jolly Roger ease up to the dock. The Dwarfs began lowering the gangplank and tying the ship up, but Emma hardly paid any attention. She moved from the dock to the ship almost without thought.

Emma scanned the deck and her eyes immediately zeroed in on her target. Belle and Doc were kneeling on either side of Killian, but she could see enough. His face was a bloody mess and, completely unbidden, images of finding him in the Underworld filled her mind. Killian still hadn't told her everything, and she doubted he ever would. That didn't stop her from wondering, or worrying.

"About time you got here, sister."

Grumpy was right in front of her, and she realized she'd just been standing there, staring like an idiot. "I got here as fast as I could," she said, knowing she sounded defensive.

"Then get to it. He's gonna be ticked he got blood on the deck. You shoulda seen him when Dopey dropped his Yoo-hoo."

"Mom!" Henry nearly skidded to a halt beside her. He was at that awkward age where he would love to hug her and let her comfort him, but he was trying so hard to be brave and be like the man he was becoming that he kept his distance.

"It's ok, kid. We'll get him fixed up."

And she would. Despite Henry's misguided efforts to rid them of magic, Emma still had hers and at the moment she was beyond grateful. Magic was a wonderful thing when an injury-prone pirate was a part of her life.

Emma hurried to Killian's side and knelt. There was a large bruise already forming on one side of his face from cheek to forehead and blood was coming from a gash hidden in his hair. She knew head wounds were ugly, and this was no exception. He was still bleeding badly despite Doc having grabbed a cloth from somewhere to put pressure on the wound.

"We were trying to help lower the sails," Doc explained, "but we were doing something wrong and he left Henry at the wheel to jerk a knot in our tails, he said. We were goofing around and we'd fouled the lines somehow. He climbed up to fix it, but… something came loose and then he got tangled up and fell."

Emma was only half listening. The glory of her magic was that she didn't have to know exactly what was wrong to fix it. She focused, gathering a picture of how Killian should look.

For a moment, Killian was surrounded by the glow of her magic. When it faded, the blood was gone, including from the deck and his clothes, as was the bruise. The gash hidden in his hair was closed and she released her particular focus on healing a concussion or worse. They all waited, breath held. He looked fine, normal, except…

"Killian?" Emma leaned over him and tapped his cheek, but there was no response. "Killian?" she said, louder this time, accompanied by a harder slap.

"Come on, Killian," Belle said breathlessly. Emma had a spare moment to worry about causing extra stress to a pregnant woman, but set it aside. Belle was anything but a wilting flower.

"Time to wake up, brother," Grumpy tried. He dropped down beside Doc and dug his knuckles into Killian's breastbone in a typically overzealous Grumpy version of a sternal rub. Emma nearly groaned in sympathy, but Killian gave no response other than a hint of a frown and a puff of an unhappy breath.

"No, no, no." Emma leaned farther over him, grasping the lapels of his jacket. "Don't do this."

She heard a noise, rope stretching then snapping, and looked up just in time to dodge out of the way as a bit of rigging swung within inches of her face. She remembered Killian calling it a dead-eye lanyard. She'd thought the name was creepy, but at the moment, all she could think was that it could have easily knocked her unconscious. Killian took meticulous care of his ship and she knew he was going to be furious when he woke up, _if_ he woke up.

She could feel herself going numb inside. This could not be happening again.

"I got it," Henry called, grabbing the loose rigging before it could swing back. He quickly tucked it in with some of the other ropes to keep it from swinging free. "Mom, get him to the hospital. I'll call Grandma and Grandpa and we'll meet you there."

Emma barely nodded, between one blink and the next transporting them both to the hospital. Instead of the deck, she was kneeling on the hard tile of the waiting room floor with Killian in her arms.

A passing nurse yelped at their appearance, but quickly settled and called for a gurney. Magical arrivals, she supposed, were common enough in Storybrooke that they took it in stride.

"What happened?" the nurse asked.

"He was on his ship. He fell and hit his head."

"How far did he fall?"

"I… I don't know, but I healed him."

"Healed him?"

"You know…" She made a twisting motion with her hand. "Healed him… But he's not waking up and he should be." Her magic had seemed to work, but maybe something had gone wrong. The hand tremors and the vision… Emma had a horrible thought that maybe her magic had failed her somehow.

A flurry of people appeared and before she could protest, Killian was lifted out of her arms and onto a gurney.

It was too much. Too much like before. Killian… Eyes closed… A gurney taking him away from her…

She could feel the numbness rolling over her, swallowing her. Numbness was better than the all-encompassing terror of losing him again. Vague thoughts of PTSD tumbled through her brain along with… Now? After curses and witches and snow queens and death and the underworld? Now she couldn't seem to get herself together?

"Emma? Honey?" Her mother was kneeling in front of her with wide, terrified eyes. "What happened? Is he…"

Emma couldn't answer. She wanted to, but couldn't make her mouth work and finally, her mother rose and walked away, only to return a few moments later.

"The nurse says they're running tests and we should wait for a bit." She took Emma's hands in hers. "Let's get you up off the floor, ok?"

Emma blinked and realized her father was there and so was Henry, and she was scaring them all.

But Killian… She wasn't supposed to face disaster for him. Not yet… not for a long time.

Her father helped her stand and kept her steady, guiding her like a child to a nearby plastic chair in the waiting room. Her mom put a cup in her hand and she raised it to her lips mechanically.

"It's juice. The sugar will help," Snow said.

Henry was holding her other hand and she gave it a squeeze. She looked at him and her son's determined expression helped as well. After everything he'd been through and seen, he still believed enough for all of them.

Belle must have stayed hidden on the ship, but the Dwarfs arrived en masse. The accompanying cacophony was almost enough to make her retreat into herself again, but she gave Henry's hand another squeeze and stood it, gritting her teeth.

They remained there, silently waiting until Emma thought she would scream at the lack of news. Henry called Regina to let her know what had happened. Regina was on Evil Queen patrol, and said to let her know if she was needed. The Dwarfs wandered in and out, while her father alternated between sitting beside her mother and pacing in the more open area of the waiting room, yelling at the Dwarfs to keep it down.

Finally, a dark-haired, middle aged nurse apparently grew tired of the noise and walked into the waiting area with her hands on her hips. "Visiting hours are over." She particularly eyed Leroy, who seemed to be the source of most of the commotion, but her glare also wandered over the other Dwarfs and David who had stopped pacing at her announcement. "You will all have to come back in the morning. The patients need quiet, including your friend."

"Killian?" Emma released Henry and stood.

"They're settling him in a room now."

"He's awake?"

"No," she said matter-of-factly. "Someone will come get you when you can see him." She eyed everyone else. " _Just_ you. You were listed as his emergency contact the last time he was here."

Emma felt herself deflate. "Thank you," she said to the woman's already retreating back. Emma turned to the others who were looking at her expectantly. "You guys should go home." She glanced at her mother. "Can you take Henry with you?"

"I want to stay," he protested.

"I know, kid. But Killian's resting and you should, too. You can come back in the morning."

It took several minutes of more protests, followed by hugs and promises to call if anything changed or she needed anything, along with another, more stern tongue-lashing from the nurse about the end of visiting hours. Leroy in particular groused about being told to leave, and she knew his guilt was partly to blame for his behavior. Emma reassured him especially that he could come back first thing to check on Killian.

Once Emma was alone in the waiting room, she wished she could call them all back. The noise and the parental badgering to drink her juice were better than this silence. She was reduced to staring at the clock, then staring at the waiting room TV, then back to the clock. Finally, after an episode and a half of _Family Feud_ reruns, the nurse reappeared and said, "I can take you back to him now."

Emma stood and followed her, bracing herself for the worst. When she stepped into the room, however, Killian looked as if he was sleeping peacefully, attached to nothing more than a heart monitor. He was in a hospital gown, and his belongings, hook and brace included, were stuffed in a plastic bag, sitting in a chair in the corner.

Whale was standing beside the bed writing something on a chart. "Emma. Back to blonde, I see."

She gritted her teeth. She didn't need a reminder of her platinum stint as the Dark One. "Still crap for a bedside manner, I see."

"Right." He set the chart aside. "Nobody in this town has a sense of humor." He cleared his throat. "As far as I can tell, there's nothing wrong with your boyfriend. He's actually better than I expected."

"Huh?" It wasn't very articulate, but it was all she had.

"I compared his scans and x-rays to the ones we did when he was struck by a car several years ago."

"And?"

"And at the time, there was evidence of multiple previous breaks… Ribs, a leg at some point, wrist, not the missing one, which must have made for a few really bad weeks, and evidence of multiple concussions, previous skull fractures."

Emma felt the blood draining from her face. "And now?"

"All gone. His bones look fresh as a daisy, which I'm assuming is thanks to you."

Emma knew she'd focused specifically on healing any injuries resulting from hitting his head. She didn't know if that had bled over into healing other skeletal anomalies. Sometimes her magic knew what it was doing better than she did. It might be that, or it might be a hidden gift from Zeus and Killian's return trip from rotting in his grave.

"Why isn't he waking up?"

Whale shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. I'm more a scientist than anything else. The Queen is the magic expert around here. Although, I'm guessing nearly cracking your head open would be hard on a person, even if they are magically healed." He turned and looked at Killian, still sleeping peacefully. "We'll watch him overnight and hope he's just resting from the trauma, then we'll do a full reassessment in the morning."

Emma nodded, unable to take her eyes off him. She walked to the side of the bed and sat down at his hip. She reached out and brushed a lock of hair out of his face, then pulled the blanket up a little higher, smoothing it over his chest.

"I'll leave you alone," Whale said, already halfway out the door and on to another patient.

"Time to wake up, buddy," she whispered. "I'm starting to think you just like pulling the sympathy ploy. You're not getting out of helping me paint the downstairs bathroom."

As if in answer, he began to stir. He drew in a deeper breath as he woke and it felt like Emma could breathe for the first time since Henry called. Killian shifted slightly in the bed, then finally, his eyes opened. He blinked several times against the bright overhead lights and she could see the moment he realized she was there.

"Back again, Swan? People are going to get the wrong impression." His lascivious gaze raked over her. "Although I'd be more than happy to make it a reality."

Emma frowned. The tone was all wrong. The facial expressions… "Killian?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Killian, now, am I?" His sudden smirk was almost angry. "A bit late to try befriending me now, love. Although I do appreciate the lack of shackles." He raised his arm off the bed and waggled his fingers. "No point really, anyway. I'd just pick them again."

Emma rose from where she'd been sitting on the bed as a terrible realization began to dawn. "Hook?"

* * *

 _More soon..._


	2. Chapter 2

_So… Killian's hit his head while aboard the Jolly Roger. Emma's healed him, but there are still some problems afoot… What's a bit of memory loss between friends, eh? Now, on we go!_

Chapter Two

* * *

"Hook?"

"Ah," he chuckled bitterly, "there it is. No need for you to pretend such worry, Swan. I've no other information for you to try to coax from me by your sweet affect. I already told you Cora has her own agenda. She does not confide in me."

"Cora's dead," she said, before she could think better of it. She was just too stunned.

"What? How?" he demanded, his voice low and dangerous, although he was trying to tone it down. She'd clearly thrown him for a loop. Hook, right after he'd been hit by the car and hospitalized, would have thought of Cora as nearly invincible.

Emma raised her hands in an attempt at a soothing gesture. "Ok, I need you to stay calm. I'm going to tell you what's going on and I… I have a feeling you're not going to like it."

"Do tell, love." He sat up more and his hand moved to his ribs to brace himself for the pain that should have accompanied the movement. His tongue flicked out, checking where she supposed his lip had been split, but she couldn't really remember. "Someone healed me."

He looked at her, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Never one to take things lying down, he climbed out of the bed and stood to face her, angrily popping the wires loose from the sensors attached to his chest. He quickly realized, however, that his hospital gown was a tad more revealing than he was comfortable with and grasped it to hold it closed in the back.

Emma tried not to smile at his suddenly pink ears and decided to take pity on him. With a flick of her wrist, he was once again dressed in his normal attire, hook included. He looked down at himself, aghast, then back up at her, seemingly unsure which to address first.

"What the bloody hell am I wearing?" he snapped. "Where are my clothes?"

"Those are your clothes. You haven't worn your… pirate getup," she wasn't sure what else to call it, "in a while."

He appeared nonplussed by her description, but he pressed on. "More importantly, how the bloody hell did you do that? Why did we spend hours climbing that beanstalk if you have magic? You had to wear Cora's bracelet to climb it. Are you a liar," he demanded angrily, "or a witch? Or a lying witch?"

"Light magic," she said, trying to keep the hurt and rising annoyance from her tone. She'd forgotten how frustrating Hook could be back when he still wore his pirate persona like armor. "Didn't get a handle on it until… well… after you can remember."

Hook clenched his teeth. "Best tell me what's going on, lass, before I become… perturbed."

"Killian-"

"Stop speaking to me as if you know me!" he roared.

"I do know you!" she said at nearly the same volume. "I know about Milah and how you lost Liam, and about Neverland and what happened with Baelfire."

His expression turned thunderous. "How in blazes do you know all that?"

"K- Hook, Cora died years ago. You were on your ship and you fell. You hit your head. It… it wasn't good. You've lost some time."

"You expect me to believe such rubbish? What have you done? Have I been placed under some sort of curse?"

"K-" She stopped herself again. Most of the others still called him Hook, but he hadn't been Hook to her in so long. She used her magic to produce the necklace and the ring he'd given her, holding it out in her hand.

At the sight of the ring, his mouth fell open in astonishment, then immediately closed as fury flooded his expression. He reflexively reached for where his sword should have been and growled when he remembered he was unarmed. "How did you get that?" he demanded. Back then, she knew he would have fought to the death to keep Liam's ring.

"You gave it to me."

Again his mouth fell open, completely poleaxed. "I… what?"

"You said it had kept you alive all this time and you wanted it to help me." She closed her hand and willed the ring to her jewelry box at home for safekeeping. She didn't want this current version of Hook getting any ideas about something so precious to her.

For a moment, only a moment, he looked sad and broken, more like her Killian, which was sad in and of itself. He visibly packed it all away and his entire demeanor changed. A roguish grin appeared on his face and he sauntered closer. "We're that close, are we?"

He stopped in front of her, purposely invading her space, trying to unsettle her with his height and his animal attraction. He'd used sex as a weapon then, and he'd been an expert at getting a reaction from her. Back then, Emma would have run or she'd have gotten defensive, angry, and annoyed at his intimidation tactics. But this was Killian and Emma wasn't afraid of him now, or rather her feelings for him. She loved him. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him into a kiss.

She could feel his shock. The kiss was familiar and yet it wasn't. She knew his lips, the feel, the shape and how well he knew to use them. Yet this wasn't Killian. There was lust, but no depth of emotion behind the kiss.

Emma released him and he appeared stunned. He was trying to hide it, but Emma knew him too well.

"Why, Swan," he said, all bluster and swagger to cloak his surprise, "I didn't know you cared."

"More than that. I love you," she said steadily, "and you love me."

Almost immediately he stumbled back from her. He looked down at his arm, staring at the spot where his tattoo was hidden beneath his jacket. He brought it up, pressed his arm and the tattoo with Milah's name to his chest. He was holding it close, horrified at even the possibility of betraying his love, the one he was still desperate to avenge.

"I'm telling you the truth," she said evenly, despite how desperate she was feeling. "After all we've been through-"

"Enough!" he said harshly. He brought his hand to his head as if it hurt. "Enough," he said again more quietly. After several moments, he raised his eyes, a fresh determination plain to see. "Is the Crocodile dead as well? Have I at least completed that task?"

"No, he's…" She hesitated. She hated to admit how they had been manipulated yet again. "He's actually stronger. He has the power of all the former dark ones combined. He's… There's no way."

His expression turned absolutely murderous. "We'll see about that."

Emma wanted to roll her eyes. "Before you do anything to get yourself killed, let's see what we can do to get your memory back. We'll…" She looked at the wall clock and sighed. "It's too late now. We can see Regina in the morning." Emma was hoping she might know a quick remedy to restore memories.

"You want to ask the Evil Queen for assistance." He looked at her like she'd gone crazy. "Not that I haven't had dealings with Her Majesty from time to time, but I've never found her to be the generous sort." He cocked his head to the side. "Nor would I have thought you of all people would turn to her."

"She's not the same person you remember."

"What? She's turned over a new leaf? She's all gentleness and kindness?"

Emma grimaced. "I wouldn't go that far, but she's good now."

"Good?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Good-ish. She's trying."

"Regina. The Evil Queen is good," he said incredulously.

"Ish." Emma shook her head. "At the moment it's even more complicated, but, yes, she's come a long way."

"And what of me?"

"You're a hero." She stated it confidently, without hesitation, and Killian went stock still, searching her for signs of deception.

"A hero." It wasn't a question. He said the word as if he was trying it on for size and from his expression, he couldn't quite make it fit.

Emma smiled sadly. It never had been easy to get Killian to accept the better parts of his nature. Even when he did something right, he only thought of it as a beginning to atone for his past. "You decided it was time for a different path," Emma said, "and you've stuck to it." She huffed out a light laugh. "You're stubborn that way."

Again he remained very still, studying her until she wanted to squirm under his gaze. She refused to look away from him, however. She needed him to believe her.

"Ah, love," he said quietly, "you almost make a man believe it's possible."

"It's more than possible. It's true."

Killian looked at her for several more seconds, then finally, he sighed. "Be that as it may…" He raised his hand again to his head and closed his eyes. "Lass, if we're to wait for the morrow to seek assistance, I believe I shall retire to my ship."

Emma had to bite her tongue to keep from demanding he go home with her, but she doubted pushing him too far would be helpful.

"Maybe you should stay here," she suggested. "The doctor wants to-"

He cut her off. "Am I your prisoner?"

"No."

"Then I won't be staying here. I find myself badly in want of a drink. Many, many drinks," he added under his breath.

Emma hesitated, considering forcing him to stay, but Whale had said he was physically fine. "Ok," she finally said. With a flick of her wrist, they were transported to the dock beside the Jolly Roger.

Killian swayed badly and Emma hurried to steady him. "Easy," she said, freshly worried something else was wrong or that Whale had missed something.

"Just how gravely was I injured?" he almost wheezed, his eyes clamped shut. "Feels like…"

"Like?"

"Like I should probably lie down." He pushed away from her and Emma had to remember, this Hook was still a pirate captain who hated to show such weakness in front of her.

He slowly made his way up to the ship and, as usually happened, Emma saw some of the tension in him ebb as he stepped on deck. He sighed and actually patted a side rail as he passed. He murmured something under his breath. She could hear the fond tone, but not the words.

"Talking to your ship now?" she asked.

In addition to lighting a pair of lamps, Emma discreetly cast a quick spell to muffle the noise so they wouldn't wake Belle who she'd just remembered would be sleeping below deck. She was going to have to figure something out and fast or Killian was going to be less than pleased to find his bunk already occupied. Then again, it might be worth it to see his face when he found a perky pregnant woman welcoming him home to a redecorated cabin.

He huffed derisively. "Just telling her I don't hold it against her that I was hurt. She's never let me down when it mattered." He shot her a sidelong glance. " _She_ never shackled me at the top of a beanstalk, not to mention leaving me to find my own way to this realm," he spat. "Cora almost killed me for working with you, I'll have you know."

Emma took a step back at the vitriol in his tone. When she backed up, the board beneath her foot came loose. She toppled to one side and landed hard on her hip.

Hook barked out a low chuckle. "It would appear my ship doesn't care for you much either, darling."

"I'm not the one she tried to kill earlier today," Emma shot back.

She turned, trying to get up, but her pants leg was caught awkwardly on the loose board. She heard a definite snort from Hook's direction. She raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it bad form to ignore a damsel in distress?"

"Ah, but I've learned this particular damsel is closer to a poor beast left to fend for herself too long. When cornered, she's likely to bite anyone who offers assistance." Nevertheless, he moved forward, pulled the cloth that was caught free, then held out a hand to help her rise.

Emma groaned as she stood. Her hip protested and she knew she'd be bruised come morning. She rubbed at it gingerly. "Your ship might not like me, but I'm definitely holding it against her captain."

"Your discomfort is a burden I'm willing to bear."

He was leering at her and Emma realized she was leaning forward as she rubbed at her hip. The neckline of her loose fitting shirt hung low and she was giving him an eyeful of cleavage.

Still, as soon as the words left his mouth his expression changed and he frowned. "I…" He closed his eyes. "I've said that before…" He cocked his head, his expression pained. "Or something like it…"

Emma forgot all about her bruised hip as hope began to flutter in her chest. She straightened up and set a hand on his arm. "Yes. We were in the Enchanted Forest," she said. "We were sent back in time and-"

His eyes snapped open and she watched as he struggled to sort through his memories. "We went to a ball. There was a dress… a red dress…" For just a moment he looked at her as if he knew her, like he was himself. "Emma?"

"I'm here," she answered, silently urging him to remember.

"What happened?" His face was screwed up, pain clearly written across his features. "The bloody Dwarfs were mucking about and then…" Killian shook his head, as if trying to clear it, but it only seemed to make him dizzy.

Emma nudged him to the side so that he could lean against the ship's railing. He reached for it, but it wasn't enough support and he suddenly fell to his knees, clutching at his head. He toppled to one side, groaning in pain.

"Killian!" Emma dropped down beside him and helped ease him onto his back. His hand fell to the deck, his rings clacking loudly against the wood. "Killian, can you hear me?" He didn't answer, only stared up at the stars overhead.

Emma pressed a hand flat against his chest, already gathering her magic. "I'm taking you back to the hospital."

"Swan?"

The tone was so different from the way he'd been since he'd woken up that she paused.

"You okay?"

"What happened? Were we attacked again?"

"Attacked?"

"The Lost Boys can be bloody relentless when Pan sets them on you." He groaned and struggled to sit up. "Is everyone all right?"

"Everyone's fine," she answered weakly, at a loss with this new development. Apparently, one bout of memory loss wasn't enough. She was going to get whiplash trying to deal with a completely different set of issues. Hook had been different in Neverland, not so angry, already beginning to give up on his quest for revenge, more focused on helping her and her family than killing Gold.

"Bloody hell," he said, a hint of panic in his tone. "Why are we back in Storybrooke? How did we get here? _Why_ are we here? Pan still has your boy, Swan. What the bloody hell happened?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." She placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "It's fine. Henry's fine."

He seemed to deflate, and let out a shaky breath. "I…" He looked around the ship. "I don't remember…"

"I know. You hit your head. You're having some memory problems."

He looked up at her, and raised an eyebrow. "And you're here to see to my welfare, are you?"

Emma choked on a laugh that was perilously close to hysterical. "I'm trying, but you're not exactly helping."

That eyebrow of his working overtime, he added a definite smirk. "Vexing you, am I, love?"

"You're scaring me to death," she answered honestly. "You… I can't…" She couldn't take much more of this. She'd nearly lost him too many times. He'd _died_ too many times, and her heart… She felt her hand start to shake and she clenched her fingers tightly.

"Swan," he said gently. " _Emma_." He began to reach out to her, but stopped himself, no doubt unsure of her response.

"It's fine," she managed, mentally pulling herself up by her bootstraps. There was no other choice.

Killian, as always, seemed to know what she needed and let it be for the moment. "What of your parents and… Neal?" He hesitated over the name and now that Emma knew him so well, she could see so much more. The jealousy was there, of course, but also the genuine hesitance to stand in the way of a family becoming whole again. He really had been a gentleman, even then.

Sometimes she was amazed he'd survived as long as he had as a pirate with his belief in good form. Pirates like Blackbeard had no such limits. Yet, she knew Killian had been a villain, and a vicious one by his own account. She knew Killian's violent past still haunted him, and that he'd had to overcome those tendencies. She'd seen them reemerge in living color when he'd been a Dark One.

Emma must have been silent too long. Killian's expression shuttered and he pushed away from her, stumbling as he stood without her help. "You should go. Your family will be waiting for you."

Emma too stood to face him. "Killian…"

Once again, the use of his given name surprised him. He stood up straight and turned to look at her in shock.

"Killian, we've been back from Neverland for a long time. We're all fine. Except Neal. Neal's… not around anymore. It's just you and me." She didn't really feel the need to drop the Neal's-dead bomb unnecessarily.

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow, still wary.

"Yup." Her lips began to curl up at the edges. "You and me. _Sunday driving, not arriving_."

He sauntered closer, all swagger and blatant lust. "I'm going to assume you're quoting something."

"Just a song."

"Feeling the need to sing for me, love?" He pinched his lower lip between his fingers, purposely drawing her eyes to his mouth. "A sailor loves a good ditty."

Emma shook her head. It was fun seeing Hook again in all of his brash, flirty glory. "I don't sing. Not even for you."

"Am I to believe that you and I… that we," he gestured back and forth between them, "have an understanding?"

Emma couldn't stop the wide smile from appearing. Killian and his oh-so-polite phrasing of things… "Yeah, you could say that," she said on a laugh.

Killian simply stared at her, awed. "What?" she asked.

He raised his hand as if to touch her, but once again thought better of it, instead tucking his thumb into his belt. "Your smile, love," he said, still studying her face, his blustering pirate persona evaporating as quickly as it had appeared. "Such a beautiful sight and I have the strangest feeling that smile is for me."

Emma pressed her palm to his cheek, smiling again when he unconsciously tilted his head into her hand. "It's for you, or more like it's because of you. If I told you what we've been through, you wouldn't believe it."

She gave in to the temptation and wrapped her arms around him. For several seconds, he remained tense, his back and shoulders like stone beneath her hands, then slowly, all his muscles relaxed, his arms finally, finally, encircled her and he melted against her.

He let out a breath he'd apparently been holding. "Swan… I cannot tell you how much I long to remember."

"That makes two of us."

The ship rose and fell on a sudden swell and they both instinctively reached out for the nearest bit of rope to steady themselves. As soon as he touched it, a shudder went through his body along with a ripple of magic so subtle Emma wouldn't have known if she couldn't feel it.

Killian looked up at her, realized how close they were and that he still had his left arm wrapped around her and promptly blushed to his roots.

"Forgive me, milady," he said quickly. "Sometimes the waves catch even a seasoned sailor by surprise."

He released her and hurriedly backed away. The movement drew his attention downward. "This isn't my unifo-"

He stopped and his eyes widened in horror as he looked at his hook. His eyes snapped up to her for… help? An explanation? She wasn't sure. He backed up more as if to distance himself, but the truth of his situation followed him. He began frantically pulling at the leather and buckles, but Emma knew he could already feel the loss of his hand.

She snapped out of her paralysis and hurried forward to stop him. She grasped his remaining hand in hers and held tight. "Killian, look at me."

He was flushed, not from embarrassment this time. He was frantic, wild-eyed and breathing too hard. "What the bloody hell happened to my hand?" he roared. "Where's the Capt- Where's Liam? What-"

Emma's heart sank. Apparently, she was about to be introduced to Lieutenant Jones of the Royal Navy.

* * *

 _More soon…_


	3. Chapter 3

_When last we met, Lieutenant Jones of the Royal Navy had just made his appearance..._

Chapter Three

* * *

Emma put her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her. "Killian, I need you to calm down so I can explain and I promise you I can. You're safe."

"My hand," he said, still wide-eyed, angry tears falling down his cheeks and he sounded so young and lost. Killian never talked about what it meant to him, although she knew one of the rings he wore belonged to a man he'd killed for calling him One-Hand Jones. He didn't kill people anymore for it, but she'd seen it still rankled when people like Regina made remarks. She hated to admit she'd made a few catty remarks herself.

"Killian, I need you to think," she said quietly. "Does it hurt?"

"I… No?" He roughly scrubbed the tears from his face, his chest still heaving. "I… I can feel my hand, but… I can't feel it? That makes no sense. Bloody hell, what _happened_?" he demanded, his voice rising again.

"You lost your hand in battle," Emma replied, keeping her voice low and even. "It happened a long time ago."

"A battle?" he asked, seeming even more alarmed. "But… I don't… Surely, I would remember."

She was surprised by how young and relatively innocent he seemed. Hook would have required more than her word when he was in such a situation. She knew how hard Killian's childhood had been. Well, she'd guessed. Now she wondered how hard Liam had worked to shelter his brother from as much ugliness as he could.

"You will remember," Emma said with all the confidence she could muster. It was just going to be a little more complicated now that she knew this was a magic problem and not just an injury. "I think there's something going on with the ship."

"The ship?" Killian's eyes scanned over the ship. "I… Liam," he cleared his throat, "the Captain would never tolerate…" He frowned. "What's happened to the Jewel? She looks…" His eyes landed on her once again, begging for an explanation.

"This isn't the Jewel," Emma hedged. It was mostly true. She hadn't been the Jewel in a very long time.

His eyes narrowed, and he clenched his jaw in anger. He scrambled awkwardly away from her, nearly falling when he tried to use his hook as if he still had a hand to push off the deck and it slid out from under him. "Do you think me a simpleton?" he bit out, swaying badly on his feet. "I know my own ship. What have you done to her? The Jewel is a ship of the line. She would never be rigged like this. Liam would never…"

Emma held up her hands to stop the developing tirade. "She used to be the Jewel, but her name was changed years ago."

"By whom?" he demanded. "Ships do not simply change their names on a whim."

"You changed it when you became her captain."

"I…" He blinked. "That's… not possible." He began pacing back and forth, swaying so badly Emma was afraid he was going to fall. "Liam…" He crossed his arms, huddling in on himself, but he'd forgotten his hook and the sight of it startled him badly.

Killian uncrossed his arms, but he wasn't used to the hook, and dragged the sharp point along the length of his forearm, slicing jacket and skin open neatly. He cried out in alarm as blood began to seep from the wound.

Emma sprang to her feet and hurried toward him. Her hand began to shake, but she powered through it. She had absolutely no time for her issues right now, not one single second. She passed her hand over his arm, quickly healing the gash and removing any evidence of what had happened.

The incident had taken only seconds, but it seemed to further stupefy him to the point that Emma was afraid he was going into shock. "Killian? Can you hear me?"

Rather than answer, he sank down, sitting on the stairs that led up to the helm. "This isn't right," he muttered. "Doesn't… feel right." He closed his eyes tightly. "I know this ship. She's…" He opened them again and looked directly at her. "I know _you_."

Emma knelt in front of him. "How is the ship different?" she asked in an effort to force him to see the ship in her present state, rather than when she was Liam's pride and joy.

"She's older," he answered and Emma smirked. He had no idea.

"She's seen more wear, more action." Killian, too, had definitely seen more wear and more action. For a second, she wished she was talking to a certain pirate rather than a lieutenant. He'd have had a field day coming up with a lovely innuendo-laced addition to that observation.

Killian's brow furrowed. "She's set up for an engagement at sea. I… I was in a battle. Are we still at war?"

Emma pursed her lips in a tight smile. "Not at this second anyway."

"No." He brought his hand up and pulled at his hair, frustrated. "We are. The… Evil Queen. I… My _head_ …"

His tone. It was Killian again, _her_ Killian.

"I'm here," she said, desperate to soothe him somehow. "I'm right here."

As soon as she said it, she felt it again, the ripple of magic. It raced across his skin, the edges of it just brushing against her senses.

Instinctively, she tried to brace herself for whatever was coming. He straightened. His expression hardened, his eyes no longer confused innocence, but flinty and angry. In a flash, his fingers clamped around her bicep like a vise and his hook was at her throat, the point just pricking at her skin.

His tone was heartbreakingly cold. "Who are you and what are you doing on my ship?"

Emma wasn't sure whether she wanted to swear or cry. When she felt a tear trail down her cheek, she knew her body had apparently made the decision without her say so, and was irrationally angry at herself for letting it happen. She was just so tired, and it felt as if she was losing control of everything, her own body, her magic, and now Killian. She could feel her hand begin to shake and cursed her mess of a mind. Archie's sessions weren't helping at all.

This was all happening at exactly the wrong time. The vision felt like a weight on her chest and she just didn't want to do this without Killian. She needed his hand in hers. She needed his little nod of encouragement, his constant reassurance when her walls or her doubts started to get in the way. His death had left a gaping hole in her life where he was supposed to be. This, having him in front of her, but still having him gone, was bringing back that feeling that resulted in some of the darkest hours of her life. That blackness had nearly overwhelmed her and those feelings were creeping back with every second _her_ Killian was missing.

"I'm a pirate, love, and you're a stowaway. It will take more than a few tears to save you."

"I'm not a stowaway," she said, her tone as cold as his. "You invited me here."

He huffed in disbelief. "Try again, darling. My ship doesn't want you on board and neither do I."

Emma frowned. "You said something like that earlier. What does that even mean?"

"It means exactly what it means, love. She doesn't like you." He cocked his head to the side, studying her. He pulled the hook away from her neck, but didn't release his bruising grip on her arm. "Which is interesting in and of itself."

"Why?" Emma tried to jerk her arm free, but he held tight. She knew how strong he was. She definitely didn't like that strength being used against her.

"I'm the one asking questions," he snapped. "What realm is this? The stars are different."

"You're in Storybrooke. Now you wanna let go of my arm so we can talk like two civilized people?"

His grip only tightened. "Not until I know what the bloody hell is going on. Where are my men?"

"Some live here, some you left in the Enchanted Forest."

"What?" he asked in genuine confusion.

Emma used it to her advantage. She hated to do it, but Killian would never forgive himself if he hurt her and she wouldn't like it that much either. Using an open palm, she slammed the heel of her hand it into his breastbone. She knew from experience how much it hurt and Killian instinctively released her.

"You'll pay for that," he spat. He began looking around him for something to use as a weapon.

Emma put several healthy feet of space between them and held her hands up in front of her, aiming them like a weapon. "Don't move, pirate. I have magic and I will be more than happy to use it if that's what it takes to wake you up."

He stood up from the stairs to face her head on. His eyes narrowed. "I've already faced the worst that magic has to offer. Go ahead. You can't do any worse than's already been done to me."

Emma could feel the anger, the absolute fury, burning through him. How he had sustained it for hundreds of years was amazing. Did the man do anything by halves?

"I don't want to hurt you," she said evenly. "You just don't know what's happening and I don't want you to do anything too-"

"If you're worried for my soul, lass, it's a lost cause." He gave her a very definite onceover from top to bottom. "I've grown rather fond of dastardly behavior."

Emma rolled her eyes. Leave it to Hook to give her lecherous glances while simultaneously threatening to murder her. "When you wake up, I am never letting you live this down," she muttered.

"What?"

Emma was getting tired of explaining again and again. "Look, you fell." She pointed to the spot several feet away. "You hit your head and you're having memory issues."

"Bollocks. I know perfectly well who I am."

"You've lived here for years. You don't go… swashbuckling anymore. No murder, no mayhem, well, not that you cause, well, except for last year, but, that wasn't really you…"

"What are you going on about?"

"You live here. You help me and my family keep the peace, as much as that's possible. You're one of the good guys. Even my dad likes you now and he's a prince. You're friends."

Killian growled. "I wouldn't spit on a royal if he were on fire, let alone befriend one."

"Well, that's… colorful. Wait 'til I tell him. I heard him say he was going to knight you if you ticked him off again, just to give you a heart attack."

"I can't tell if you're mad, or…"

Emma shrugged. "I'm not nuts."

"Then try making some bloody sense!" he bellowed.

He raised his hook and without thinking, Emma waved her hand. The hook disappeared from his wrist and reappeared in her open palm. He leaned forward as if to charge her, but another tiny whiff of magic kept him from moving.

"Let me go!" His jaw clenched and he snarled, "And give that back. It is unwise to toy with a man's h…" He trailed off and for several seconds, he remained frozen, simply staring at her. She could tell he was thinking furiously, the lines around his mouth and eyes giving away that his head was hurting badly again. "Why… why did that sound… familiar?"

"Because you've said it before, sort of."

"I don't…" He shook his head. That apparently made his head hurt worse. He lost all color and staggered sideways.

Emma tossed the hook behind her and heard it clank on the deck as she hurried forward to catch him before he could faceplant. She grabbed him under his arms and eased him down until he was once again sitting, propped against the side of the ship. It seemed her evening had been spent popping up and down, sitting, standing, kneeling. She was starting to feel like she was caught in a game of whack-a-mole.

"Get away from me, witch," he slurred. He looked dizzy and a bit green.

"I'll admit I have my days, but that's no reason to be rude."

He began to shove at her weakly. "Should've killed you the second I found you. Bloody ship's smarter than I am," he muttered under his breath.

"That does it." Wonky magic and shaking hand or not, Emma gathered her magic and transported them both to her house.

Killian landed on the sofa with an "Ooof!" and without asking for his permission she raised his feet and forced him to lie down.

"You, just… stay there until your head calms down. I think… I think your ship is messing with you for some weird reason and I wanna know why."

"She would never-"

"Killian, just shut it, will you?"

"How… how do you know my name?"

"Were you listening at all?" she said in frustration.

"I've gone mad," he muttered. "I've finally gone stark raving mad." He closed his eyes. "Only to be expected, I suppose. Pan promised he'd pay me back. Probably in his camp right now and I can't tell the bloody difference. That little bastard Toots has probably-"

"Killian!" Emma snapped, trying to stop the flow of words.

He turned to her, barely banked anger in his eyes. "Apparently, I am at your mercy, witch." He raised an eyebrow. "You may have your way with me."

Emma clenched her hands into fists, silently counting in her head while her desire to hit him warred with her waning patience. "You've said several times your ship doesn't like me. What makes you say that?"

"A captain knows his ship like the back of his hand." He smirked. "I've only the one, so I'm doubly attentive." He cleared his throat when she put her hands on her hips and simply continued to glare at him. "You were trespassing," he said through clenched teeth. "Something few have dared to even attempt."

"Not good enough," she shot back. "You meant more than that. I could tell."

"I couldn't say, love. I'm all askew." He held up his empty brace. "I asked you to unhand me, but instead you disarmed me."

Emma gave him a smile that said, "Aren't you clever," and "Screw you, buddy," at the same time. "Well, as you pointed out, you've only got one hand. Seemed cruel to take that one, too."

Killian gave her his own version of the smile. He sat up slowly and looked around the room. "Where are we? This doesn't look like any realm I know."

"My house. Now stop dodging the question. I want to know about the ship."

"Then you should have asked politely instead of stowing away and then kidnapping her captain."

"Oh, this _is_ polite. Otherwise, you'd be in cuffs."

"Cuffs?" He raised his arm, and frowned at the clothing he was wearing. "This realm apparently has no appreciation for the finer things."

Emma rolled her eyes again. Of course, Captain Hook would miss his loose-cuffed linen shirts. It made her wonder if he really did miss his old shirts and just tolerated his modern clothing.

"You'd be in _shackles_ ," she clarified.

"Ah, like that sort of thing, do you, darling?"

"Not my fault your _charming_ personality means I keep having to tie you up."

"I'm afraid that simply won't do. Pirates are rather set on their freedom, you see. I never really cared for-" He paused and cocked his head to one side, as she'd seen him do several times before when something jogged his memory. His shoulders hunched and he began to curl in on himself. "Why were we… there was a… beanstalk. Ah!" He cried out and bent forward, cradling his head in his hand.

"Killian?" Emma hurried forward and didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around him. "It's gonna be ok. Come on." She brushed her hand through his hair. Maybe, now that they were away from the ship, he would finally remember. "Come back to me."

She felt more than saw him move and looked up just in time to see him grab the decorative glass bowl from the coffee table and swing. It connected with her head and the next thing she knew she was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

Killian's handsome face appeared in her line of vision, smirk firmly in place. "Guess you should've gone with the shackles, love."

The light began to fade and Emma knew she was going to pass out. The last thing she heard was the front door closing behind him as he left.

* * *

 _Poor Killian's certainly not going to like it when he remembers. More soon…_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you very much for each and every review. It does make staring at a blank page worthwhile. This was meant to be a pleasant little diversion for the hiatus and hopefully it's kept you slightly amused for a few days while we wait. Now let's get this wrapped up. When last we met Hook was being a sneaky so and so. He clocked Emma and took off. Now on we go…_

Chapter Four

* * *

Emma groaned as she awoke. Her head was killing her and a quick check told her she had a nice-sized goose egg forming above her temple. At least she wasn't bleeding.

Emma sat up slowly and the change in altitude sent a lightning fast streak of pain through her brain and down her spine. For a moment she wasn't sure whether she wanted to be sick or just pass out again. She almost felt sorry that Killian had spent most of the night feeling something similar until she remembered he was the reason her head hurt so badly, or Hook was, anyway.

Emma took a spare second to ease the throbbing in her head. She sighed in relief and was better able to focus on the task at hand. There were only so many places Hook would go. He might scout out the town, or he might head back to the Jolly Roger. She hated to wake up her father at this time of night, but she might need backup to search, or just to corral Hook if they found him.

Emma jumped when her cell phone vibrated in her pocket. She quickly pulled it out, a feeling of dread already settling in the pit of her stomach. "Hello?"

" _Sister, you better get down here_."

"Where's here, Leroy?"

" _The_ _Rabbit Hole. There's something wrong with your boyfriend. He ain't himself_."

Emma sighed. He was himself, just his old self. "What's he doing?"

" _Drinking and snarling at anyone who comes near him. I tried to apologize for what happened on the ship. He shoved me and said, 'Stay out of my way, Dwarf.'_ " Leroy did a pretty decent impression too. " _It was like he had no idea who I was_."

She closed her eyes. In addition to being a villain, Hook really had been an unbelievable jerk at times. It seemed nearly impossible to reconcile the man she loved with the man he had been. She supposed though that if she ran into the person she'd been when Henry brought her to Storybrooke she might not believe the difference if she hadn't lived through it herself.

"Ok, Leroy, I'll be right there."

" _Make it fast_ ," he said and hung up.

Emma gritted her teeth in frustration. Nothing was ever easy, not for her and Killian, not for her parents, not for anyone in Storybrooke. Sometimes, it felt like they didn't even have a chance. Not even an afternoon trip on the Jolly Roger was safe now. It was like a slow march to the inevitable, and all she could see was her inescapable future, standing on Main Street with a sword in her gut as she died.

Emma's hand started to shake and no matter how she tried to banish the vision, she couldn't manage to use her magic to get to the Rabbit Hole. Rather than waste more time continuing to fight it, she headed to the bar the normal way. She took her bug and drove like a crazy person to get there as fast as she could.

Leroy was waiting for her just inside the door. "About time you got here, sister."

"You called like two minutes ago."

"That was two minutes too long."

Emma looked past him and saw that Killian was sitting at the bar, a bottle of rum in front of him, and a tumbler of the same halfway to his lips.

"Do you know how much hard liquor a pirate can drink in two minutes?" Leroy demanded. "Not to mention he was already drinking before I called you. Trust me. Even the other Dwarfs are impressed and we know about drinking."

"Has he said anything else?"

"Other than threatening to cut out my tongue if I kept talking? Not really."

She grimaced. "Wonderful." She looked back toward the bar and saw Killian pour another tumbler full to the brim. "I better get to it before he can't walk."

"Might be better that way, now that I think of it. He'd be easier to handle if you wait for him to pass out."

"Thanks for the tip, Leroy." She started to turn away, then paused. "Really," she said more sincerely. "Thanks for finding him. I'll take it from here."

The Dwarf nodded and headed back toward his table, but she could tell he was still going to keep an eye out.

Emma approached the bar slowly, moving toward Killian from the side so that he would have more than enough time to see her coming. He looked well and truly miserable, hunched over his drink, frowning at it as if it had done something to fail him.

"Sit down, Swan. There's no need to stand on occasion."

Emma blinked in shock. "Killian?"

"Aye, love. It's me."

"But-"

"Leroy started shouting at me and it all suddenly came back." He glanced toward her without making eye contact, and then quickly looked back down at his drink. "Last evening, the Dwarfs had fouled the sail and they were all yelling and blaming each other and, of course, Leroy can out-bellow any town crier. That's when I fell."

Emma sat down on the stool beside him. "You mean to tell me I've been trying all night to get you to remember who you are and all it took was one loudmouthed Dwarf to knock some sense into you?"

"Apparently so," he replied, still not looking at her. "Are..." He pursed his lips, his shoulders visibly drawn tight. "Are you all right?"

"Are you talking to the rum or to me?"

"Emma," he said, almost chastising.

She reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, but didn't shrug her off at least. "I'm fine, Killian."

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly.

"A little poof of magic," she said, careful to keep her tone light. "Like it never happened."

"But it did," he bit out. He finally turned to look at her and his eyes were bright. "I hit you, Emma. There is no bloody excuse for that. None. Ever. I hit you without thinking twice."

"That wasn't you."

"That's the problem, love. It _was_ me. Obviously, that man is still lurking just beneath the surface. All it took was a bit of magic and he came right back. _I_ came right back."

"It's not that simple and you know it."

He let out a humorless chuff. "Do I? I'm not so sure." He lifted his tumbler of rum and drank the whole thing down. Emma thought it had to burn something terrible, but he just grimaced and grabbed the bottle to refill his glass.

"You know I think it's actually illegal to chug good rum like that. I'm going to turn you in to the pirate union."

He shook his head. "I've no idea what that means, love. Yet another reminder I'm a man beyond my time and place. I-"

"Stop," she ordered. "Stop right there, buddy."

"No, Emma. Levity or… talking my way around something terrible I've done, excuses… I've spent my life doing exactly that, but no more. I've no Dark One possessing me to explain it away. I just brought myself to apologize to Belle for the things I did to her and then I do this."

"Killian-"

"I _struck_ you, Swan. I held my hook to your throat. How you can even bear to look at me?"

"Pretty sure I knocked you out once upon a time over a magic compass and a portal."

"Bloody hell." He ran his hand over his face in frustration. "We were in the middle of a sword fight. I could have killed you then, too!"

Emma heard a noise behind her and looked up to see a semi-circle of angry Dwarfs, all staring daggers at Killian's back.

"Guys?" she said, trying to draw their attention. "Back off. You don't know what's going on."

As usual, Grumpy took the lead. "He hit you? Sister, you shoulda said something. I never woulda asked you to come get him. I'd have broken his legs and left him hogtied for you outside the Sherriff's Office. You wanna give me and the boys a few minutes, we still will." The other Dwarfs all nodded in agreement.

"He lost his memory and went back to before he ever came to Storybrooke. He thought I'd kidnapped him." She gave them a glare of her own. "Thanks for the protective… whatever this is, but I've got this handled."

The Dwarfs grumbled and a few looked like they still wanted to hurt him, especially Leroy, but they began to wander away, back to their own drinks. Leroy was last, and Emma had a feeling he'd be having a talk with Killian one way or the other.

Emma turned back to Killian to see him hunkered over his rum, staring at it with laser focus. He'd heard Leroy and it had no doubt reinforced everything he was thinking. Killian would fight and fight for her, but getting him to trust himself was another matter.

"Come on," she said. "Let's get you out of here. I'm sure you've got more rum on your ship." She'd have suggested going back to her place, but it was currently the scene of the crime and she knew it would only make things worse.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Swan."

"Well, I do," she countered. "Come on, Captain. Your ship awaits."

"No!" he said too loudly, causing another ruffle in the Dwarf camp, and his ears turned pink in embarrassment.

"Why not?"

"The ship." He sighed and scratched his hand through his hair. "You shouldn't go back until I've had a chance to talk to her."

"To your ship?"

"Aye." He sighed again and knocked back the rum he'd been glaring at. "She's angry."

Emma leaned over so that her shoulder was pressed against his. "Talk to me, Killian. You, or several different versions of you, have said something about that tonight. What's up with the ship?"

He shook his head. "I knew she was angry. I just didn't realize quite how angry."

"How do you know she's angry?"

He laughed, and it was just a little hysterical. Maybe it was the booze, but it seemed like more. Whatever the case, the rum wasn't helping. Emma waved her hand, pleased when her magic didn't give her any trouble as she brushed it over his form. In a moment, Killian's buzz was a thing of the past.

Killian finally turned to face her, definite disappointment and a wee bit of amusement peeking through. "Bad form, Swan."

"So is getting blackout drunk to avoid talking to your girlfriend."

"I suppose I should just wander out in the woods then and ask to be left alone," he replied with a hint of bite to it.

"Killian-"

He waved her excuses away. "I'm sorry. That's for another time. I just…"

"Talk to me."

He met her gaze and she could see the moment he decided to spill the beans. "There is a bond between a captain and his ship. A good captain knows everything about her, her quirks, her needs, her warning signs. With the Jolly Roger-"

She made a "keep going" gesture.

"I've told you how special she is." He waited for her to nod. "She's made from enchanted wood. That's not just so she can fly, or that she can withstand going through portals. She's more than that."

"She talks to you?"

"Not in so many words." He made a face as he struggled to explain. "It's more like impressions, really. The longer the person's been her captain, the stronger the bond and I've been her captain for a very, very long time."

"So you can tell she's angry," Emma said, deadpan.

He nodded. "I can tell when her decks are getting too dry and need to be swabbed, when the barnacles are beginning to bother her, when rot is beginning to set in before anyone can see or notice, and on and on. Some of it is a sailor's intuition, some is familiarity, but some of it is the old girl telling me what she needs or wants."

"And?" she prompted.

"I can feel her in my bones." He smiled to himself, as if at a pleasant memory.

"Two peas in a pod, huh?"

"Aye," he said, his smile fading. "She's tied to her captain. When she was still the Jewel of the Realm and Liam died, she was as mad with grief as I. She took to piracy and her new name as easily as her new captain. When I lost Milah and my hand, she was as eager to go through the portal to Neverland as I was. She's warned me of mutiny brewing below decks and any number of perils. I've always said she's more than a ship and it's true."

She was part of him and yet he'd still traded her away to get a bean to find Emma in New York. He'd let go of that connection that had been a part of him since he was a young naval officer. He'd done it for her.

"When I got her back after I traded her to Blackbeard for the bean, she was upset with me. It took some time, but we were old friends and she forgave me. I don't think she cared for my split affections, but she accepted her captain's orders."

"So that's why she's ticked? She's jealous? She thinks I stole you away?"

Killian shook his head. "It's more than that. When I died…"

Emma took a calming breath. Just that phrase was enough to raise goosebumps.

"She felt the connection break."

"She… holds me responsible for what happened?" Emma had been the one to kill him after all. She could still feel the slide of steel through flesh. She could smell his blood as it coated the air. For hours afterwards, she'd smelled it, blood and death following her after what she'd done.

Again Killian shook his head, this time with a bit of a smile. "She's angry, love, that she wasn't part of the rescue party."

Emma cocked her head in confusion. "Huh?"

"How did you get to the Underworld?"

"By boat," she answered.

"And there were how many rivers there leading straight to Hades' throne room?"

"Are you kidding me?"

Killian just shrugged. "Everyone got to go except her. She's upset."

"But… I mean… we went in the little boat thingie… We had to-"

He held up his hand to stop her. "I didn't say it was logical. I'm merely telling you how she feels."

"This is nuts." Emma wanted to throw her hands up in defeat. Of all the things she had to worry about, the last thing she'd ever thought she'd have to worry about was a ship's emotional welfare.

"I've been trying to smooth things over, spend more time with her, but these things can't be rushed."

"Why does that sound like you're cheating on me with your ship?"

He smiled, a hint of his usual mischief reappearing. "The sea will always be my mistress, love. A sailor's reliably untrustworthy in that regard."

"So if she loves you so much, why'd she try to crack your head like a melon?"

"I don't think she meant to hurt me. I think she was trying to take me back to before I really knew you, more importantly before I loved you."

Emma's eyes narrowed. "I think I need to have words with your mistress. I don't like her messing with my man."

Killian snorted. "Judging by how hard she's worked to knock some sense into me, I'd say she must feel the same."

"Did she?" Emma asked carefully. "Knock some sense into you?" She knew he loved her. She really did. But old habits were hard to break. The question was out before she could draw it back in.

For the first time, he looked at her, really looked at her, truly centered on her instead of stewing in his own self-loathing. "Emma," he said, reaching out and pulling her closer. "I will frankly admit the Jolly Roger means a great deal to me. She has been a part of me for almost as long as I can remember. Yet, I would give her up, sell her, barter her, burn her to ash if I had to, if that was what it took to stay with you, love."

Emma got right in his face. "Then why were you sitting here drinking instead of coming back to find me as soon as you remembered everything?"

Killian grimaced. "Emma…"

"Are you seriously going to 'Emma' me?"

"Emma, while I might fight with all that I am to stay with you," he brushed his hand gently over the spot where he'd hit her, "perhaps you should know better than to let me."

"That wasn't you."

"Yes, it was," he said quietly, a tremor in his voice. "Emma, Captain Hook and Killian Jones… we're one and the same. I didn't just accidentally fall into villainy. I willingly, _willfully_ , made every one of those choices. I was angry, bitter and vengeful, and I dove in headfirst. I could never attempt something like Regina has done to separate herself from the Evil Queen. The darkness inside me, it is an integral part of who I am. I've fought it my entire life, sometimes more than others, and under certain circumstances my worst instincts, they… he… _I_ obviously come right back. Swan, I-"

Emma stopped him with a kiss. She put her hands on his cheeks, her fingertips curling and brushing through his hair. It took him a moment to respond, and even when he finally brought his hand up, it was tentative as it brushed her side.

She pulled back just far enough that she could look at him. "Ok," Emma said, coming to a decision. "Let's go."

"Where?" he asked warily.

"The Jolly Roger."

He stood, but he still hesitated. "Why?"

"Just come on." She pulled on his arm and together they headed for the door. Leroy stood up as if to follow, but Emma held up a hand telling him his interference wasn't necessary. He huffed in annoyance, but settled back onto his stool.

The night was cool as she walked outside. She'd been so upset earlier, she hadn't even noticed that the temperature outside had dropped. Nevertheless, she opted for a stroll to the docks, rather than a short ride. She slipped her arm through Killian's and wrapped herself closer to him.

They walked to the ship in silence and Emma could tell Killian was still brooding. Images from her vision popped into her head. She knew that if, or when, she died, he would be beyond distraught and a distraught Killian was not a rationally thinking Killian. She was afraid that in his grief, he would do something terrible or slide back into his old ways. She had to do whatever she could to keep that from happening and she was afraid she wouldn't have long enough to do it. Emma felt her hand begin to shake and she tightened her grip on his arm to stop the telltale sign of her impending death.

Emma didn't pause when they reached the ship. She walked right up the gangplank and pulled a reluctant Killian along with her.

"Swan, what if she-"

"Hush. This is between me and her." Emma took a moment to ensure the spell was still in place to keep the noise from waking Belle. "All right. Listen up, boat."

"She's a ship," Killian muttered reflexively.

"Nope. Your _boat_ is messing with my boyfriend and we're gonna have words."

Killian smiled, covering his mouth to hide it from... _her_ , his ship.

Emma narrowed her eyes. "Your captain explained what's going on." She looked around, but there was nothing to see beyond the usual. She felt a little silly, but she pushed through it. "You're ticked that I left you out of the loop. Well, guess what. Now I'm mad, too. Killian means everything to me. I went to the Underworld to get him back and today you almost killed him." The ship rolled with the waves, her planks groaning with the movement. "We both want the same thing. We want to protect him and we want to make him happy. I'm sorry you weren't with us on the rescue mission, but it wasn't possible. The entrances to the Underworld don't work that way. And... I couldn't get him back anyway. It took more than both of us to save him and I just have to be grateful he's back and you should be, too. He loves us both. So... quit trying to brain him or change him to get him away from me. We should both just be thankful for what we have… for as long as we're allowed to have it."

Emma refused to allow any tears to fall. She hated the thought of leaving Killian behind. They'd only just found each other again. Were a few moments of peace, a bit of time to love and be loved, too much to ask?

"And just so you know, if you ever try anything like that again, I will sell you to the first scrapyard I can find. Got it?"

Killian laughed outright at that. "Excellent, love. She's always appreciated a good show of force."

"As long as she knows I'm not kidding."

Killian paused for a moment, and Emma guessed he was "listening" to the ship. "She knows."

"Good."

Killian looked around behind him and finally seemed to find what he was looking for. He bent over and stood back up, already settling his hook back in his brace. Emma had forgotten that she'd thrown it behind her earlier. Killian sighed deeply once it was done and his shoulders sagged, exhaustion plain on his face. He sank down on the deck and leaned back against the side of the ship. He patted the planks next to him and Emma lowered herself to sit beside him. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

For several minutes, they simply remained as they were, listening to the sounds of the ship and the breeze and the water. He brushed his hand over her hair, his fingers tangling in her long tresses and finally she realized he was brushing his fingers over her scalp where he'd hit her with the glass dish.

"Are you truly all right, love?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine. Really."

"Will you forgive me?"

Emma did her best not to roll her eyes. "There's nothing to forgive."

"Emma, please," he whispered, and she could hear how badly it hurt him that he had hurt her.

"Yes, I forgive you," she replied. "Of course, I forgive you." She turned slightly. "Killian, you had no idea who I was and you felt cornered and threatened. I'd have done the same thing." She offered him a tired smile. "I'm pretty sure I did, as a matter of fact."

He was not going to be mollified. "It's no excuse."

Emma sighed impatiently. "Will it make you feel better if I threaten to castrate you if you ever do anything like that again?"

Killian's lips twitched in amusement. "Just go ahead and murder me, Swan. I think I'd prefer it."

Emma turned so that she could look at him properly. They were mostly surrounded by darkness, but she could see him dimly in the moonlight and from the lamps still burning from their earlier visit. She studied his face. He looked tired and troubled, but even so, he was as handsome as ever, and she wanted to remember this moment, when he was struggling so hard to be a better man, one who was worthy of her, when in truth he'd been one for so, so long.

"Killian, I know you, darkness and all. And the thing is… I love you. All of you." Emma didn't know how much longer she would be around to tell him and she needed to tell him every chance she got, so he would accept it was true. He'd almost stayed in the Underworld because of his guilt and doubts and she needed him to believe. "It's ok that you struggle with darkness. The point is that you do, that you keep struggling. No matter what happens. To me," she felt tears threatening and pushed on, "or you or any of us, you keep fighting. I know that when you get something in your stubborn head, you never let it go. So get this stuck in there." She held his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "You're a good man. You've fought to be one and I know you'll fight to stay one. I believe it, but, Killian, I need _you_ to believe it. You wouldn't be this upset about what happened if you weren't."

"Swan, I _want_ to believe it."

"But..."

"But then I close my eyes and I remember the things I've done. I remember what I'm capable of doing. I remember..."

"It's good you remember. It reminds you not to do it again," she said gently.

"I can't exactly murder my father again, so we're safe on that at least," he replied bitterly.

"Hey," she said more pointedly. "I said it was good to remember, not to dwell. Just... Remember what that darkness does... where it leads you."

"Aye, Swan, I know."

He sighed and he sounded so, so tired that Emma released his face and pulled him closer. She placed a chaste kiss on his forehead and then tugged on him until he leaned into her, his head resting against hers.

The boards underneath her were hard and becoming more uncomfortable by the minute, but she didn't want to move. She wanted to stay right where she was, beside Killian, for as long as she could.

"This is nice," she said after a few minutes.

"I could do without the emotional trauma, myself," Killian replied, but there was a hint of amusement in his tone.

"I'll take what I can get." Emma squeezed his shoulder. "It seems to be the only way we get some alone time."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, love."

Her immediate thought was "crash and burn," but she decided to go with something more hopeful. "I like to think you'll be fine. You'll help Henry. He'll help you."

"Swan?" he said, definite concern in his voice.

"Just worries," she said offhandedly. "With the way we live, I can't help it. I mean... how many times have you died on me now? It's not a stretch to think my number could be up next."

"Point taken, Swan," he said, sounding even more troubled than before. "Doesn't mean I like to think on it."

"Then don't," she replied. She wished she had that luxury. "Not going to happen." She put all the confidence she could muster into her tone.

It wasn't going to happen. She would make sure of it. She would take care of it and she'd never have to worry anyone with her visions. She'd never have to worry about Killian going off the rails after her death, or Henry being left behind again, or her parents, or…

"You're brooding, love," Killian murmured. He placed a kiss against her temple. "That's a job for reformed ne'er-do-wells."

"Been a rough night," she sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said, recrimination once again appearing. "That's my doing. I..."

"Shhh…" She brushed her fingers over his cheek. "We're ok."

He didn't respond and she wished she knew what he was thinking. It didn't matter though. They would get through this like everything else.

"It's late," Emma whispered. "You should try to get some sleep while you can. Never know what might pop up tomorrow."

Killian nodded his head, bumping hers slightly. "Too right, love. You should rest as well. You've been chasing after my sorry self all day and night."

"You are pretty quick on your feet for a senior citizen," she quipped.

Killian smirked. "Bad form to taunt your elders, Swan."

Emma stood and held out her hand to help him rise. He took it and let her pull him to his feet. He used the opportunity to drag her closer and kiss her. It was no chaste kiss this time. He was all pirate, bent on plunder and she was ripe for pillaging.

"I love you, Emma Swan."

She was tempted to ask him to go back to the house with her, but again she worried the sight of the broken glass would ruin any progress she'd made. They had plenty of time. She would make sure of it and they would make love on that sofa, over and over, until he forgot anything unpleasant had ever happened in that room.

"I love you, too," she said, kissing him again, a lighter, less demanding buss this time. "Tell you what… meet me at Granny's in the morning? We can have breakfast."

"Aye, love. More untold stories to deal with, I imagine…"

She laughed. "A savior's work is never done."

"I'll try not to be the one causing it this time." He smiled, and for the first time, it was closer to his real smile, a definite step in the right direction.

"Goodnight, love," he said, his hand warm as he brushed it along her arm.

Emma flicked her hand and removed the spell blocking the noise from those below deck. Her pirate definitely needed to be soothed by the sounds of the sea if he was going to sleep tonight.

"Goodnight."

One of these days, she was going to have the nerve to ask him home and to make it theirs instead of just hers. Her walls and worries still had her balking, but the need to ask… it was building up inside her.

She was going to have to talk to someone first, though. Not Henry. She could tell he was wondering why she hadn't asked already. No, Emma needed to have a chat with the Jolly Roger, just a pleasant, very one-sided conversation between Killian's two lady loves. She didn't want any more misunderstandings when her captain decided to change quarters.

They both loved him. They would figure it out.

And if something happened to Emma… She was going to have to rely on his other lady to help soothe him. They'd have a talk about that, too. Emma wasn't leaving anything to chance this time.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it. Been a pleasure._


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